Thursday, December 17, 2009

hints from your helpful convicted neighborhood burglar

My dad sent me an interesting forward about tips (from convicted burglars!) to keep your home safe. It's surprising how many of these things I hadn't thought of. Hopefully you'll learn something too!


1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.

2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier.

3. Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste ... And taste means there are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me wonder what type of gaming system they have.

4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it. Keep mail box empty..

5. If it snows while you're out of town, get a neighbor to create car and foot tracks into the house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead giveaway.

6. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don't let your alarm company install the control pad where I can see if it's set. That makes it too easy.

7. A good security company alarms the window over the sink. And the windows on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom-and your jewelry. It's not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too.

8. It's raining, you're fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock your door-understandable. But understand this: I don't take a day off because of bad weather.

9. I always knock first. If you answer, I'll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters.
(Don't take me up on it.)

10. Do you really think I won't look in your sock drawer? I always check dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.

11. Here's a helpful hint: I almost never go into kids' rooms.

12. You're right: I won't have enough time to break into that safe where you keep your valuables. But if it's not bolted down, I'll take it with me.


CTB said...

Great tips!

Kelly said...

Good ideas (and funny too!!) Sounds like something my Dad would send me... which makes me wonder why I haven't gotten it yet and why he's slackin' ;-)

Taylor @ Jimmy Choos and a Baby Too said...

Too funny---and true!

bananas. said...

Oh girl, i already be knowing! Im the most paranoid person. I don't trust anyone! As a kid, my house was broken into by our scummy neighbors. And just a few months ago my brother's house was robbed by the kirby guys. You know, those vacuum saleamen. Yea, crazy!

Rasha (andthisiswhatshesaid) said...

These are good. I def. need to know these things, just in case.

Kris said...

wow! I am sending this to my dad!

Shannon Murphy said...

ohhh scarryyy!!!

KLaw said...

Those are pretty damn good!

Anonymous said...

And don't forget the extra house key that you leave under the front door mat, the planter, the shed, the outdoor know you've left one somewhere!

~KS said...

Good ol' Carl to send this along... great tips too!

Sara-Jane Elizabeth said...


Holly said...

this gives me the creeps!! but super helpful. as a homeowner now, im crazy paranoid!!

bathmate said...

I liked it.

Rachel & Rebecca said...

great tips. creepy. but great. mind if i eventually re-blog? def will credit you. (and your dad)