Wednesday, September 16, 2009

put your thinking caps on.

via google images
I just saw a segment on the Today show that got me thinking....is it possible to be friends with an ex? And by 'be friends', I mean truly friends... not yearning to be back with them or keeping them close to keep an eye on them (come on... you know what I mean!)
Personally, I've never been able to stay friends with an ex... I've only had two and am not friends with them for VERY different reasons. Guy feels different about this.. he's friends with one of his ex's and would be friends with the other if she was interested. It's just how he is I guess. I don't work that way.
So what are your thoughts? Are you friends with your ex? Is it truly possible?


9 comments:

KS said...

Big question... and no easy answer. It's obviously possible (Guy seems like a perfect example of that)... but I think it just depends on the people and where they both are, and who they're with.

SG said...

I've personally always had a hard time staying friends with ex's. There are a few I keep in contact with on a sparing basis, we'll exchange a quick text or email every now and then just to check in and say hi but we no longer hang out. I've moved on and so have they and there really isn't much reason for us to be friends anymore.

bananas. said...

personally, i think i can be friends with my ex however everytime i try it seems like they may still have feelings. for example, after my ex and i broke up (after 4 years together), he hated me. i was so sad by this because i really missed him AS A FRIEND. and then when he finally decided to talk to me again, i dunno it feels so weird. like he's trying to impress me, always wants me to hang out with him, like dave doesn't exist. it makes me feel uncomfortable so now i just don't try. it's s tough situation and for it to work you both have to really want to be friends and friends only...unless he ends up gay then heck yes let's be friends. BESTIES even!!!

bananas. said...

whoa! i wrote a lot! eek :/

btw, totally agree with you on true blood. i kept saying "is this dragging on or is it just me?" OH and have you seen lady gaga's video to paparazzi. eric from true blood is in it! he's so handsome. i'm really starting to crush on him big time :)

KLaw said...

Oh girl, do I have some stuff to share with you (in another avenue). Its damn near impossible. Especially for that 'one that got away'. Lord have mercy!

Kym said...

i think its possible... my ex from about 5 or 6 years ago and i are friends and we're both dating other people.. my current bf and him even have convo's about cars and different man things. hehe... so yes, i'd say it's possible :)

Annie said...

i'm pretty good friends with my ex that i was with for almost 5 years. he pretty much hated my guts after we ended things but over time we started talking again and now we're buds. we don't see each other often but he lives really close to me so we run into each other from time to time. we email sometimes just to catch up as well. we have some of the same friends as well. we get along great and i think it's a good thing we are friends :)
i don't think my fiance cares for me being friends with my ex even though i did date other guys after that ex and i haven't been with him for over 5 years. ha!

denvertiger said...

I saw that segment too and it's very interesting and a "big" question as KS said. I'm actually going through this right now and was so glad y'all posted these comments. I just broke up with a guy a couple of weeks (we dated a year) but we're still talking on the phone (just superficial stuff) but it's hard to imagine, at least at this point, NOT talking to him and keeping up with him. Maybe it's too new for me but I hope that we can still be friends. But I too, think it depends on the people and the circumstance and leans heavily on how the guy can handle it...

Hi, Lane said...

I think it depends on who ends it. Guys that I ended it with, I'm over pretty much 100%. The ones that I go, "Hmm.. what if..." I just don't surround myself with. And the ones that ended it with me, I just stay away from COMPLETELY. Because I'd probably have a few choice words for him (there was only one), if I ran into him again.